Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange.
Barman: What can I get.. holy shoot half your head is an orange!! How did that happen??
Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc.
Barman: What in the heck were your three wishes, half your head is an orange.
Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me.
Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish?
Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire.
Barman: What in the heck was your third wish half your head is an orange?
Guy: It was a silly wish. I don't wanna say
Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink.
Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.
A boy grows up and becomes a priest.
He is exemplary in his studies and in his kindness, and he becomes a well-loved, well-respected member of the community.
One day, a man came walking to the priest, and said "Please, dear sir, may I have one lemon?" The priest goes does to the market to give him one, and the man thanks him, but just before the priest can ask why, the man quickly dashes off into the distance. The priest tries to pursue him, but soon he realizes that he is fat and out of shape, so he decides to spend the year exercising and getting in shape.
The next year on the same day, the same man approaches the priest and asks once again, "Please good sir, may I have just one lemon?" The priest goes and fetches it once more, and just like he expected, the man goes running off once again, only this time, the priest is surprisingly fast, and is able to catch up with the man. In a panic, the man runs to a nearby rushing river, and jumps in it, and the priest, never learning how to swim, lets him swim across.
It then occurred to the priest that he never swam as a boy, devoting all his time to his studies, so he decides to learn how, and happily spends his free time splashing and diving, becoming an excellent swimmer.
The same day, next year, the man comes to the priest and asks him once more "Please good sir, if you may, would you find it in your heart to give me one lemon?" The priest goes down to the marketplace and gives it to him once more, and just as expected, the man runs as quickly as he possibly could, with the priest running in pursuit. The man runs, and soon comes across the same rushing river as before, and he quickly jumps in, but the priest, to his surprise, comes swimming after him. The man is panicked, but he soon finds a high, towering tree with many branches. He quickly leaps, and climbs up the tree as quickly as any man could, leaving the priest on the ground with no hope of reaching him.
It then occurred to the priest that he never climbed in any trees as a boy, being busy with prayer and meditating, so the priest spends much of the next year climbing the tree, pulling himself up the branches, and skillfully swinging across the limbs with the agility of a monkey. The other priests find it odd, but as he is an excellent priest in every other way they allow him to do it, and some even join him.
The exact same day as the other days, the man comes up once more and asks the priest "Please sir, may I have one lemon?" The priest goes to the marketplace as before, and as soon as the man runs, the priest chases him across the fields, until the river comes up, where the man swims across it, with the priest determined to follow him, until the man finally comes across the huge, lumbering tree once more. He climbs it swiftly, but the priest quickly follows, with both grappling and climbing with incredible agility, until the man reaches the top of the tree. The priest soon reaches the top, cornering the man.
The priest said "Son, for four years you have come on the same day and asked for a lemon. May I know why?"
The man replies "Yes sir, you may, but you must know this is a very private and personal matter. Please, be a good man, and never tell anyone why I have asked you for one lemon every year."
The priest promised not to, and the priest was a good man indeed, and never told anybody the reason why that man had asked for one lemon every year.
Where did sally go after the explosion?
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Everywhere!
The priest joke is from reddit, the explosion is google images, and the half an orange is anti-joke.com.